Eyes to See/Ears to Hear

In order to combat my annoyance over the unwillingness of media outlets to tell the truth and avoid letting their bias rule, as well as to have an outlet for my very (at times) wordy self, this blog has been created by yours truly. This will be an accounting of events in the world, my country, and my little piece of the world as best as I can see it, hear it, and relay it.

Location: United States

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Getting Up And Slammed Back Down

It has been quite some time since I have last felt that I was getting somewhere and went back a couple steps; quite some time. I have been getting things done, feeling good about doing so, beginning some routines that are beneficial for me and my health, have missed my last cycle, but don't really miss it, and all around believe I was moving forward. And boom, a full blown cavity that makes it impossible to eat and a chipped tooth just in time for a gathering that I have decided to attend and cannot back out of without hurting the feelings of a dear (and probably only one I have left) friend. I am fighting it, really fighting the down feeling, but I have to be conscious of my teeth and not eat the dinner while seeming like I am and working on my listening skills all night because I am not going to talk and let my tooth be seen. I find that I cannot even share how I feel about this because I hear the usual, don't worry, you cannot even notice it, or, worse things happen to people and you are worried about such a little thing? In both cases usually coming from someone who has all their teeth and none of them cracked. I guess I could say they should work on their listening skills, but instead I have to work on mine as well as 'understanding' that people mean well. I just want one friend, that I get to see often enough to feel that I am important to them, who will affirm me and my feelings. I am lucky to even get what I get, mostly words of affection, and am thankful for them. I have to learn the lesson, and it seems to be a hard one for me, of being satisfied with what I get and not wanting more than someone is willing to give. I would say able, but they seem to be able to give to others. I think in a way that it is my own fault in that I would always say to friends to get to me later, to pass me by and let someone who is more needful to move up, etc., and then I simply got left behind I guess. I feel like the afterthought, like, oh yea, her, later. :( I understand that God doesn't treat me like that, but His people do. :)